The Pursuit of God

Serious Topics for Serious Christians

Category Archives: Types of Addictions

Facing Your Fear of Reality: Recovering from Extreme Psychological Escapism

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After a long day at the office, Frank likes to unwind with a couple of hours of gaming when he gets home.  Then he checks in with his friends and often hangs out with them, feeling recharged from his solo play time.  But when Mike gets home from work, he spends the rest of his evening glued to his computer screen.  The only friends Mike chats with are the crew members of his online gaming team.  He’s never met any of them, and they’ve never met him.  They’re all interacting with each other as their fictitious game personas and Mike loves it. Read more of this post

Understanding Your Perverse Fantasies: A Sign of Stress, Not Defectiveness

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AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

There’s a widespread belief among Christians that if a man’s spiritual priorities were in the right order, he wouldn’t have certain kinds of thoughts, he wouldn’t be hooked on porn, and he wouldn’t have certain nasty desires welling up within him 24/7.  And yet the truth is that a man can have excellent priorities and be embracing all the right soul attitudes while he is being plagued with some very dark mental fantasies.  The psychological principles we’re going to discuss in this post can be very helpful to anyone who is feeling tormented with perverse fantasies of any kind.  When you’re obsessing over certain kinds of themes, you can easily end up shunned by both the mainstream Christian community as well as the world at large.  Happily neither of these human groups are accurately conveying God’s assessment of you.  And once you understand a few basic principles about where perverse fantasies come from, you can stop treating yourself like a worm and become more receptive to the compassion and help God is offering you. Read more of this post

The Mindset of Trauma Rehearsal: Trying to Acclimate to the Unbearable

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AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

Trauma is initially created by a lack of debriefing.  It wasn’t just that you experienced something overwhelmingly negative—it was that you were prevented from being able to emotionally depressurize immediately afterward.  It is the absence of debriefing or processing which turns upsetting experiences into crippling traumas.  Heather and Kim are  good examples of this.  Both women had terrifying drowning experiences when they were girls.  But in Heather’s case, she was able to run to a caring mother, cry it all out, and receive both sympathy and help in gaining a new perspective of her experience.  While she was being held underwater, unable to breathe, Heather was terrified.  Her mind was leaping to all kinds of overwhelming conclusions, such as the brother who she trusted was maliciously holding her under.  As Heather’s mother talks her through these feelings and helps her understand that her brother was not trying to harm her, overwhelming fears are put to rest, and Heather is able to quickly recover.  Read more of this post

The Mindset of Trauma Reversal: Pursuing the Unattainable

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AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

No matter how many men Sonya dates, she doesn’t feel satisfied.  Rather than be faithful to her current boyfriend who treats her very well, Sonya flirts with every guy she meets and tries to get physical with them.  Sonya’s flirtatious behavior suggests that she really wants a man.  But she has a man, so why isn’t she happy?

Tony is an extremely driven workaholic who has a long resume of impressive accomplishments.  He graduated top of his class at one of the best colleges in the world.  He’s a brilliant neurosurgeon who has revolutionized his field with some very innovative surgical techniques.  Thanks to Tony’s genius, the number of brain tumors that can be safely removed has skyrocketed.  The man is a hero in the medical field, he is adored by his community, and he is married to an exceptionally kind and compassionate woman.  But despite all of this, Tony feels depressed and inadequate.  He’s locked in a pattern of driving himself to exhaustion trying to accomplish some lofty goal, only to feel depressed and unsatisfied when he reaches his target.  Tony’s been the guest of honor at many awards ceremonies, but every time he returns home with his wife, he’s so upset that he locks himself into the bathroom to cry.  Why isn’t Tony feeling satisfied with his accomplishments? Read more of this post

Help for Sex Addicts: Understanding Symbolic Sex

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AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

So, how’s your sex life going? Are you even supposed to be having a sex life right now? Most sex addicts are not. When we are addicted to sex, we can’t scrape up the self-control needed to fuss around with things like real love and marital commitment. We feel an overwhelming need to keep that intercourse coming, which is why many of us are mowing our way through a long list of sexual partners. We’re not in it for the relationship, we’re in it for the sex. Some of us will put some effort into the relationship in order to make it last so we can put off the trouble of having to find a new partner. But others of us couldn’t care less about the relationship.

Let’s talk about your sexual style. Perhaps you are the woman who just can’t wait to tear her clothes off and thrust herself into any available pair of male arms. Or perhaps you are the guy who is addicted to rape. Your favorite prowling ground is party scenes where you can get your victims looped on drugs and then have your way with them. Sexual addictions come in a wide variety of forms, and yet the irony is that when we’re this crazed for sex, it’s really not about the sex anymore. For sex addicts, sex has become a symbol of something else, and that something else is what they’re really after. The first step in healing from your addiction is to identify what it is that sex symbolizes for you. Read more of this post

Emerging From Darkness: Guidance & Hope for Malicious Torturers

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AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

CAUTION: This post is speaking to active torturers. This is a dark, graphic subject matter which is not going to be edifying to a general audience.

Sadism is a mindset in which we derive pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, and/or humiliation onto others. Sadism comes in different flavors. In sadomasochistic pairings, someone who gets off on inflicting pain finds someone who gets off on being degraded, and the two party on. Here’s where we get into the world of BDSM torture fests in which the many forms of “play” revolve around sexual arousal. In this post, we’re not talking to sadists who are toying around with willing victims. In this post, we’re talking to those of you who are addicted to dishing out hardcore pain. You don’t want willing victims, you want terrified ones. You’re out to inflict malicious forms of pain and suffering, and seeing some honest terror and agony being expressed by your victim is an essential ingredient for you. You’re not just in it for sexual arousal, although that can be a nice side effect. For you, the whole screaming, writhing, bloody freak out gives you a deep internal rush. For you, it’s all about dragging things out as long as possible, while constantly trying to push the boundaries of sick and twisted. Bring on the medical experimentation and anatomical disfiguring. You expect your victims to die—they’re totally expendable to you. Maybe you’ll keep a few souvenirs from their corpses, but then it’s on to the next one because you need to keep that rush coming. Read more of this post