The Pursuit of God

Serious Topics for Serious Christians

Category Archives: Help for Wives

Gentle & Quiet: The Ideal Wife According to Peter


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Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (1 Pet. 3:1-6)

Whenever we’re reading the words of humans, we need to read with caution. What we call the Bible is a collection of documents written by various men over a span of hundreds of years. None of these men were perfect. Like us today, their beliefs about God were tainted by cultural superstitions and biases. For example, Peter lived in a male-dominated society. He was taught from the cradle that he was the superior sex. God disagrees, of course, but we have to cut Peter and all of his fellow Jews slack in this area because we humans believe what our parents teach us. Those of us who have been blessed not to grow up in a culture which views most people as subhuman lowlifes will have a hard time appreciating what it was like for these New Testament Jewish men to comprehend all of the radical changes that Yahweh’s New Covenant introduced. Read more of this post

Godly Submission: Guidance for Alpha Women


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Some women are born to lead. When they get in any group situation, they instinctively assume the alpha position: giving the orders, claiming the highest authority, and exuding domination. If this is you, then you’re who we’re talking to in this post.

Now if God has created you to be an alpha, you probably recoil at the thought of submitting to anyone. To you, submission means quietly following, acting passive, and holding back. None of these things are you. You don’t follow, you lead. You aren’t quiet, you’re loud.  You don’t hold back, you charge ahead. If you tried to sit on yourself enough to come across as passive, you’d probably explode. There are many men and women in the Church today who will try to make you feel bad for being an alpha woman. But God doesn’t see this as a bad thing at all. God likes His alpha women, and He always makes sure He has some around for when the alpha men fall down in their duties. God has used alpha women to save the day on countless occasions throughout history. God loves variety, and you’re like a pungent spice: a little of you goes a long way, but your presence adds so much to the group that things seem terribly dull without you. Don’t let anyone convince you that being an alpha woman is a flaw. It’s not a flaw, it’s a beautiful part of your design. You’re like a wild stallion in a field: full of fiery determination and independent drive. You don’t need other people to affirm your decisions for you because you know your own mind. You’re not afraid to go against norms and take on new challenges. You are brimming with potential and God has glorious plans for you. Read more of this post

Stop Comparing Yourself to the Proverbs 31 Woman

Stop Comparing Yourself to the Proverbs 31 Woman

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For all you women who are trying to please God but feel utterly despaired every time someone whips out Proverbs 31: take heart! God is not comparing you to this fictitious female, nor should you be interpreting this passage as His personal calling on your life. To put this passage in perspective, you need to put the whole book of Proverbs in perspective. A proverb is simply a saying. The Holy Spirit will make it clear to you when a particular proverb has any value for you in a given moment. But let’s be clear about the kind of effect the Holy Spirit’s Voice has on us. When He speaks to your heart, you don’t end up feeling beat down, discouraged, and hopelessly flawed. So as you’re reading through Proverbs 31, if it feels like someone is shoveling wet cement onto your back and you’re feeling more and more burdened with every word you read, then you’re not hearing from the Holy Spirit. You’re hearing from that nasty old deceiver Satan, or one of his many sordid friends. Read more of this post