The Pursuit of God

Serious Topics for Serious Christians

Category Archives: Maintaining Boundaries

Help for Victims of Abuse: Breaking Out of the Doormat Syndrome


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Suppose you want to play a game of catch with your friend Dean.  When you throw Dean the ball, he’s supposed to throw it back.  This is how catch works: it’s a simple game of two people throwing a ball back and forth to each other.  There’s nothing complicated about catch, but it still requires cooperation from both sides.  If Dean refuses to catch the ball you toss at him or if he refuses to throw it back, or if he just walks away to go have lunch somewhere, you will no longer have the option of playing catch with Dean because Dean just shut down the game.  Read more of this post

The Element of Power in Human Relationships


AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

There is an element of power in every relationship. Realizing this is an essential step in learning how to develop healthy human relationships. When power is properly distributed among the various parties in a relationship, things can go very well. When power is being mismanaged, we end up hurting each other.


In human relationships we measure our power by our ability to get what we want. What makes a king so different than a regular citizen? When the king says he wants something, he gets what he wants. When the regular citizen says he wants something, he often gets ignored. Greater power results in our preferences being respected and obeyed. And because we’re all selfish beings who want our own way 24/7, we crave power and we find it very tempting to abuse. Read more of this post

Choosing the Right Priorities: How does God want us to treat our brothers?


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“How should I treat my brother?” The common Christian answer to this classic question is “Treat others the way you’d want to be treated.” Or we might say, “God commands us to love one another.” And while these are useful guidelines to have in mind, in real life, we often need more specific instruction. What exactly does loving your brother look like? What if you currently hate him because of something he did to you? While Christians often talk as if love and forgiveness are qualities that we can just pluck off a shelf whenever we feel like it, in real life, we often find ourselves at a total loss when it comes to the resources we need to treat others as we’d want to be treated. So then what? Read more of this post

Human Role Models: Their Value & Limitations


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God gets furious when we worship other things in His place. But why? Well, suppose you bought your daughter a very expensive diamond ring. When you first give it to her, she is very excited. She says she loves it. She promises to wear it all the time. But the next time you see her, she has a bit of dirty old string tied around her finger where your ring used to be. Read more of this post

Boundaries in Marriage: Opposite Sex Friendships


AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

Since your spouse can’t be your all-in-all, it is a very healthy thing to maintain friendships outside of your marriage. Some of us naturally identify with and relate to the opposite sex better than we do our own. Some men gravitate towards female friends and vice versa. This shouldn’t be viewed as a negative thing because God loves variety, but we do need to be wise in how we handle our opposite sex friendships after we are married. Read more of this post