The Pursuit of God

Serious Topics for Serious Christians

Category Archives: Communicating with People

Improving Your Communication Skills: Understanding Private Dictionaries


AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

As a human, you speak one or more verbal languages.  Let’s use English as an example.  As an English speaker, there are two kinds of dictionaries which you use to communicate with other English speakers: public and private.  Your public dictionaries are ones which we can all access.  When you come across a new word or phrase and you look up its definition online or in a book, you’re using public dictionaries.  But public dictionaries don’t play a big role in your life.  It’s your private dictionary that you mainly rely on, and this is what makes talking to you such a challenge for other humans.  You see, you’re the only one who can access your private dictionary, because that massive, highly personalized, constantly updated database of words and meanings only exists inside your mind.  And while you’re keeping your dictionary all to yourself, you’re also viewing it as far more trustworthy and accurate than all public dictionaries.  Your private dictionary is the resource you use to interpret the actions, behaviors, mannerisms and expressions of every human you interact with.  It’s your human decoder book, and you’ve been expanding and modifying its entries your entire life.  After all of the work you’ve put into keeping your private dictionary up to date, you’re not always willing to accept the idea that some of your entries are wrong.  In fact, there are certain entries which you are totally unwilling to change, and this can create major conflicts when you’re talking to other people. Read more of this post

Help for Aggressive Critics: Why You Need to Verbally Trump Others


AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

Are you one of those argumentative Christians who is always looking for a chance to shut someone down with your version of God’s truth?  Do you listen in on other people’s conversations, hoping that someone will show some ignorance on a subject that you feel you’re an expert on so you can barge into the conversation and pound that fool into the ground with your brilliance?  Do you find yourself getting all agitated and flush-faced when someone makes a comment about God which you believe is wrong?  Are you quick to break out a mocking tone and condescending language as you’re explaining your view to someone else?  Do you inwardly panic when someone points out a major flaw in your argument that you don’t know how to counter? Do you understand why you’re such a dominating pill in verbal conversations?  You have your reasons.  Humans always have reasons for what they do, and those reasons make sense to them.  Read more of this post

Marriage Solutions: Overcoming Sexual Trauma as a Team


AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

With sexual abuse running rampant in the world today, it is very easy to end up with a spouse who has some extremely negative associations with sexual intercourse and everything that comes with it. Because God has equipped our brains with some very powerful defense mechanisms, it is easy for your spouse to honestly not realize they have a problem until the two of you are in the middle of things. When traumatic memories resurface, it’s very natural for people to have extreme reactions. Being on the receiving end of those reactions can produce some very convenient material for demons to try and use to drive both you and your spouse away from each other. But division and strife and a bunch of hurt feelings are not what God wants for you. Regardless of what kind of mess has already been made, there are ways to move forward and resolve these issues as a team. Read more of this post