Shady Shepherd Tactics: Delivering You From Spirit Spouses

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Here’s how it works in the world of Christian deliverance ministries.  First, you pick an issue that a ton of humans struggle with.  The juicier the issue is, the better. You want to go for a problem that frequently results in shame, heartache, or embarrassment.  Once you pick the issue, you then go on to the next step: demonize it.  Here’s where you make up some cockamamie story about how anyone who struggles with this issue only struggles with it because they’ve become some pawn of evil forces which are out to get them.  If you’re not an imaginative person, then borrow from the pagans, because they’ve got spiritually terrorizing people down to an art.  Once you’ve come up with a nice horrifying explanation for why people struggle with the issue you’ve picked, then you set up shop on the internet or in a church and you wait for a nice vulnerable victim to come stumbling into your lair.  You want someone who shows signs of being distressed, broken, or traumatized.  The more wounded they are, the more desperate they are, and the more likely they’ll be to believe whatever you tell them.  Here’s where you unleash your horror story on them about how the problems they are telling you about are sure indicators that they are in some great spiritual crisis.  And once you’ve successfully convinced them that they are helplessly locked in the clutches of some super powerful, super evil entity, you magnanimously offer to deliver them.  Isn’t that nice of you? Continue reading

Understanding Verbal Blessing & Cursing: So Much Hype, So Little Power

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In this post, you will learn everything you need to know about the human practice of verbally blessing and cursing other humans.

HOW HUMANS VIEW BLESSING & CURSING

There are two main ways that humans view blessing and cursing.  For non-serious users, the phrase “Bless you!” is the same as saying “Thank you!” or “I like you!” or “Wow, you seem like such a nice person that I hope things go well for you in the future.”  Alternately, to say “Curse you!” is a way of saying “I hate you!” or “You’re such a jerk!” or “I hope rotten things happen to you because you’ve upset me!”  For non-serious users, blessing and cursing people or objects is just a way of expressing personal joy or anger. Continue reading

Worship Bombs: KYRIE ELEISON by Chris Tomlin

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When people who speak different languages start socializing with each other on a regular basis, it doesn’t take long before they start merging their languages.  Each fellow steals some words and phrases from the other fellow’s language and he starts teaching those new phrases to his pals.  The English language is a fabulous example of this.  If you buy an English dictionary,  you’ll find that it contains many words that aren’t English at all, but English speakers have adopted them with such enthusiasm, that they now consider them part of normal English.  Take sauerkraut, for example.  There’s nothing English about that word, it’s totally German.  If English speakers wanted to keep their language pure, they could redefine what sauerkraut is in English terms.  But if you go into an American food market, you won’t find cans labeled as containing “pickled shreds of cabbage.”  Even though that’s what sauerkraut means in English, the Germans make it sound so much tastier by the way they say it, so English speaking Americans have stolen the term.   Continue reading

Imitating the Idolatry of NT Jews: All Scripture is God-Breathed

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Why do Christians today say that the entire Bible is God-breathed or Divinely inspired?  Where do we get that idea from?  We get it from the apostle Paul.  Paul once said to Timothy:

All Scripture is Divinely inspired and is useful for teaching, for showing people what is wrong in their lives, for correcting faults, and for teaching how to live right. (2 Tim. 3:16)

Of course when Paul said this, he was only talking about the Old Testament, because that was the only “Scripture” that he knew.  But today when we quote Paul’s words, we pretend that he was referring to both the Old and New Testaments, even though the New Testament that you know today wasn’t compiled until long after Paul’s death.  It simply doesn’t matter to you that the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, Hebrews, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John and Revelation were all written after Paul had died.  You still insist that when Paul said all Scripture was Divinely inspired, he was including documents that he’d never personally heard of.  Are you starting to get a feel for how ludicrous the modern day application of Paul’s words is? Continue reading

Offensive Worship Songs: THE MOUNTAIN by Ben Cantelon

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Here’s a question that would be useful for you to ponder: what is your purpose in worshiping Yahweh, Jesus and the Holy Spirit? What’s your point?  What’s your goal?  Are you praising Them just for the sake of pleasing Them or are you trying to coax Them into performing for you?  Is it about Them feeling good or you being entertained?  If it’s really about Them, then you’re going to have to part ways with most of the rot that Christendom calls “worship music” because you’ll realize that there’s nothing worshipful about most of the songs you’re being prodded into singing at church.

Your Creators don’t enjoy you rejecting the truths They have taught you.  They don’t find it pleasing when you gush over one of Them in a way that ends up insulting the other Two.  They don’t like it when you recycle a bunch of superstitious idiocy and demeaning language that you picked up from dingdongs in the Bible.  You’re not an ancient Jew living in the days when the Temple stood on a mountain in Jerusalem.  The Temple has been gone for a very long time now, and that’s a good thing.  Yet when you sing Ben Cantelon’s song The Mountain, suddenly you’re calling on Yahweh to lead you up that sacred hill of Mount Zion to meet with Him where His Presence dwells in the Holy of Holies because…well, apparently you’re some kind of ancient Jewish wannabe.  Continue reading

Songs that Insult Yahweh: CHAMPION by Jesus Culture

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The fact that we call the Trinity doctrine out for the baloney that it is and refuse to downplay the separateness of the true Gods really hacks off a lot of Christians.  Why can’t we just bow to the authority of the Church and regurgitate this rot about God being “three in one”?  Because Yahweh, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are not just one mysterious Blob with a split personality.  They are three separate and distinct Deities, and until you start recognizing Them for who They are, you are never going to treat Them with the honor and respect that They deserve.

Now being the little polytheist that you are, you routinely address your Gods as individual Beings—you just don’t want anyone to point this out to you because you’ve decided that it’s something to be ashamed of.  It’s time for you to stop letting other humans push you around in your personal relationship with your Creators.  You’re never going to learn how to treat the true Gods with the honor They deserve while you’re treating Them like a single Entity.  To understand why, let’s use an analogy. Continue reading

Singing Smack to Yahweh: SHOW ME YOUR GLORY by Jesus Culture

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Reverence is one of those four critical soul attitudes that are essential to you pleasing your Makers.  Without it, you’re going to Hell—this is how important reverence is.  So now let’s dig deeper.  Why is reverence so important?  Well, reverence is a fear based respect which is a logical response to recognizing that someone or something has the power to harm you.  Humans revere fire, which is why they keep a cautious distance from it.  Because they know that fire has the power to severely injure them, they are afraid of it, and that fear translates into a sober respect which prevents them from just tossing lit matches onto the carpets of their homes.  Continue reading