The Pursuit of God

Serious Topics for Serious Christians

Shady Shepherd Tactics: Delivering You From Spirit Spouses

AUDIO VERSION: YouTube  Podbean

Here’s how it works in the world of Christian deliverance ministries.  First, you pick an issue that a ton of humans struggle with.  The juicier the issue is, the better. You want to go for a problem that frequently results in shame, heartache, or embarrassment.  Once you pick the issue, you then go on to the next step: demonize it.  Here’s where you make up some cockamamie story about how anyone who struggles with this issue only struggles with it because they’ve become some pawn of evil forces which are out to get them.  If you’re not an imaginative person, then borrow from the pagans, because they’ve got spiritually terrorizing people down to an art.  Once you’ve come up with a nice horrifying explanation for why people struggle with the issue you’ve picked, then you set up shop on the internet or in a church and you wait for a nice vulnerable victim to come stumbling into your lair.  You want someone who shows signs of being distressed, broken, or traumatized.  The more wounded they are, the more desperate they are, and the more likely they’ll be to believe whatever you tell them.  Here’s where you unleash your horror story on them about how the problems they are telling you about are sure indicators that they are in some great spiritual crisis.  And once you’ve successfully convinced them that they are helplessly locked in the clutches of some super powerful, super evil entity, you magnanimously offer to deliver them.  Isn’t that nice of you?

Deliverance ministers are like the man who sits on his porch with his automatic rifle, just waiting for some cripple to come hobbling into view so he can blast him.  Contrary to what their name implies, deliverance ministries are really out to cripple you, not deliver you.  You can’t even dream what a terrible crisis you’re in until a deliverance minister gets a hold of you.  According to them, the world is teeming with evil spirits who are constantly looking for ways to sink their vicious claws into you.  As for witches, sorcerers, shamans, witch doctors and every other dark art specialist you might come across—deliverance ministers will teach you to greatly fear and respect these people.  They don’t want you to see dark magic practitioners as the spiritual morons that they are—no, deliverance ministers want you to believe that such fools really are what they claim to be: super powerful demigods who can sic the powers of darkness on you whenever they want to.

Deliverance ministers want you to think that everyone is more powerful than you are—at least at first.  If you start off in a nice groveling, subservient position then deliverance ministers can successfully milk a bunch of money, worship, and dependency out of you before they kick you aside like so much garbage and move on to the next sucker.  Deliverance ministries do nothing but deceive, delude, and distress you, which is why we’re always telling people to stay away from these vipers.

If a man wants to learn to swim, should he tie cement blocks to his feet before jumping into a pool?  If a man wants to learn to read, should he first gouge his eyes out?  Of course not, and if you want spiritual help, do not go to deliverance ministers.  Such people will chew you up, spit you out, and dance on your remains without the slightest moral qualm.  In our line of work, we see this kind of thing happen all the time.  Souls come to us deeply traumatized by the terrible deceptions some deliverance minister jammed down their throats, and they are always far worse off than they were before they even started seeking help.  Happily, lies can be unlearned, and we are always glad to help people get untangled from webs of deception that their spiritual leaders have sucked them into.  But while it’s quite possible to heal a broken leg, it’s even better if you never snap your bone in the first place.  So stay away from deliverance ministers, deliverance ministries, and anyone who promotes the idea that you have become the spiritual prisoner of another person or spirit.   

SAFETY IN COUNSELING: “DON’T PAT ME!”

Now deliverance ministers have countless scams that they love to push, and some do more damage than others due to the issues that they are linked to.  Remember that deliverance ministers need to first con you into thinking you’re bound in some way before you will become interested in their services.  By turning every issue that you have into some epic battle with evil which you are currently losing, deliverance ministers quickly drive you into a worsened state of fear, panic, and depression which they then offer to deliver you from.  Of course their deliverance techniques are complete scams which have zero effectiveness, but in real life you can find scores of people who will swear that deliverance really works.  So what’s going on here?  Well, the techniques that deliverance ministers package as “delivering” you are nothing more than very basic psychological manipulation games.  Since the goal of this post is to deal with a specific deliverance con, we won’t go into all of the psychological tricks deliverance ministers employ to create the illusion that they are helping you.  But for the sake of helping you build better defenses against getting scammed by any kind of counselor, remember this safety rule: “Don’t PAT me!”

P.A.T. is an acronym we made up that stands for PRAYER, AGGRESSION, and TOUCH.  You should never pray with your counselor, nor should you just “amen” any prayer they say for you.  Prayer is your private, personal communication with God and your counselor should not be invited to eavesdrop on it.  If you’re with a counselor who wants to pray for you, tell him or her to pray silently or to pray after you leave.  Realize that prayer can be a very effective manipulation tool which can cause you to feel too emotionally dependent on your counselor while enabling them to increase their influence over you.  Prayer simply has no place in a counseling session.  Anything you have to say to God, you can say without the counselor listening in.

The second word in our P.A.T. acronym is AGGRESSION.  Do not keep seeing a counselor who gets aggressive with you in any way.  One very common way counselors do this is by insisting that you must agree with what they’re telling you.  Deliverance ministers are famous for pressuring people into believing that they’ve had experiences which they’ve never actually had.  Secular counselors can do this as well.  While suppressed memories are a real thing, if they really exist, they will surface by themselves naturally as therapy progresses.  You should never allow someone to talk you into accepting that you have memories which you cannot recall.  A counselor’s job is to suggest and advise, but you have the right to disagree with anything they say.  Good counselors will want to know when something they suggest doesn’t sit right with you.  Counselors can’t read your mind, which is why listening to your honest feedback is a critical part of the therapy process.  But counselors who have shady agendas will try to coerce you into accepting a specific view of yourself, and they will get aggressive if you show signs of independent thinking.

In extreme cases, abusive counselors  may try to physically stop you from leaving a therapy session before they are done with you.  Other counselors will threaten to harm or blackmail you if you don’t do what they want.  Always remember that counseling is a voluntary thing and if you’re not comfortable, leave!

The last word in our P.A.T. acronym is TOUCH.  Never let a counselor touch you.  Deliverance ministers are famous for putting their hands on people because making physical contact with someone is a guaranteed way to gain emotional power over them.  If you like your counselor and they try to make some physical contact with you that seems to just be a friendly gesture, ask them nicely to back off.  If they do not respect your request and immediately back off without giving you a bunch of attitude, then leave and don’t come back!  Getting physical with patients is not just unprofessional and inappropriate, it really damages the therapy dynamic and greatly hampers progress.  Because Christians are so used to touching each other when they’re praying in groups, there is a whole lot of touching going on in Christian counseling sessions and way too much acceptance about it.  The fact that everyone in the room is calling themselves a Christian doesn’t suddenly make it okay for a counselor to put their hands on your body or crowd you on a couch.  Physical interaction is totally inappropriate in any counseling session, and any counselor with a basic understanding of psychological principles should understand why this is without you having to tell them.  Remember that it’s your body and your space.  Tell your counselor to back off, and if he or she won’t respect your boundaries, then cut ties immediately.

Remember the acronym of P.A.T. and you’ll remember three things that don’t belong in a counseling session: praying out loud, aggression, and physical touch.  Remember “Don’t P.A.T. me!” and you’ll be much harder for shady counselors to abuse.

THE SPIRIT SPOUSE SCAM

So now that we’ve said all of that, let’s talk about the specific scam of spirit spouses that is so popular in deliverance circles.  Because humans have always been obsessed with sex and supernatural entities, the theory that humans can have intercourse with angelic beings is older than the hills.  So is it really true?  Can angels or demons make out with humans?  No, they can’t.

For starters, sex is a body thing.  Your soul doesn’t have a sex drive—only your body does.  Because angels and demons do not have physical bodies like you do, they are not sexual beings.

Now in this world that we live in, there are many kinds of creatures who do have sex drives and sexual organs.  Because God loves variety, He has created a wide variety of sexual organs, many of which can’t be anatomically fitted with human sex organs.  If you take an animal who happens to have sexual organs which are shaped similarly to that of humans, then it is conceivable that you can have intercourse with that animal.  Such animals tend to be mammals, and the practice of humans having sex with animals is called bestiality.  Now bestiality is nothing more than you forcing an animal’s genitalia to interact with your own.  Bestiality is a form of invasive physical abuse.  It is not an effective way to procreate.  If a man abuses a female horse in this way, the horse will not then give birth to a man-horse hybrid.  Physically combining genitals is not enough to cause procreation.  For procreation to happen, there has to be compatibility of sperm and egg.  Since human sperm is not compatible with anything other than human eggs, humans are not able to procreate with anything other than humans.

Now as gross at it sounds, bestiality has been around for a very long time.  In the Old Testament, we find Yahweh saying that the original inhabitants of the Promised Land—the folks who the Israelites were supposed to kill when they took the place over—were big fans of bestiality.  There are many ways for humans to veer off track, and once we develop certain warped psychological perspectives, bestiality can actually start sounding appealing.  Contrary to what a deliverance minister would tell you, you’re not possessed, cursed, or spiritually doomed if you currently find yourself drawn towards bestiality.  The human sex drive is far more moldable than most people realize, and what you end up feeling sexually attracted to has a lot to do with your personal experiences in life.  When people go through traumatic experiences—when they experience something very negative and stressful which they don’t know how to recover from—it is very common for their stress to affect their sex drive in negative ways.  This can result in people feeling sexually aroused by targets which God says are not appropriate, such as kids, animals, same sex partners, or torture.  If you are currently struggling with such things today, the last place you want to go for help is to a deliverance minister.  Instead, we would recommend that you read our material on various sexual dysfunctions to get a better understanding of how you got to where you are.  Far from being a sign of spiritual bondage, sexual issues and perverse sexual appetites are often linked to psychological stress—stress which can be resolved without someone chanting verses or laying hands on you.

So why is it important to realize that humans can only mate with other humans?  Because in their zeal to terrify you, many deliverance ministers will tell you that demons can successfully mate with you and impregnate you with devil children.  Deliverance ministers will also tell you that demons sexually desire humans—which is utterly ludicrous—and this is why they’re always trying to have sex with you at night.  Spirit spouses are promoted as demons who have intercourse with you while you are asleep.  According to deliverance ministers, anytime you have a dream in which you’re having sex with someone, you’re really having sex with a demon who is merely posing as that human to trick you.  Spirit spouses supposedly come in male and female forms.  If you wake up from a dream you don’t remember and realize that you’ve experienced an orgasm, that’s another indication that your spirit spouse has ravaged you once again.

So is any of this true?  Absolutely not.  Deliverance ministries capitalize on embarrassing and upsetting life experiences that are very common among humans.  Dreaming about sex is a very common issue, and it has nothing to do with you getting assaulted by some malicious creature.  While demons certainly can create upsetting images for you to dream about in order to distress you, demons never actually have sex with you, nor should you assume they are involved just because you dreamt about sex.

Remember that sex is a body thing, not a soul thing.  Because your sex drive is a very powerful drive—meaning that it influences a lot of what you do—it’s really unsurprising that sex comes up as a subject in your dreams.  If deliverance ministers were actually interested in helping you, they’d talk about upsetting dream imagery with you and help you correctly interpret it.  They’d also explain that most of your dreams are nothing more than your subconscious reviewing its current stresses.  Once you get past the very creative and symbolic imagery that your mind invents, you will discover that there’s really nothing surprising about the meaning of your dreams.

To understand how dreams work, imagine your mind as a house with two rooms in it.  One room is very big, the other is quite small.  The small room is your conscious mind, and it’s quite limited in how much it can hold.  The huge room is your subconscious—it stores all of the memories that you collect as you go through life.  Now if you’re going to function well in life, then you have to start the day with plenty of room in your conscious mind—room that you can use to store all of the new information and experiences that you’re going to collect as you go through the day.  To make this space available, your conscious has to shuffle stuff it collected from the previous day into your subconscious for longterm storage.  This shuffling process goes on while you are asleep.  All humans must sleep in order to stay functional and healthy.  Your mind needs regular opportunities to reorganize its two rooms and clear out that smaller conscious so that new incoming data will have somewhere to be stored.  So as you sleep, things get shuffled around. Your conscious sends boxes to your subconscious and your subconscious unpacks those boxes and reorganizes its files to make room for the new data.  Dreams are a side product of all that shuffling around that your brain is doing.  Dreams tend to focus on the things which your subconscious finds the most difficult to store—upsetting, confusing, or emotionally intense memories.  It’s these “loaded files” which the subconscious tends to base its dream imagery on.  You might think of your dreams as your subconscious’ way of saying, “Wow, where the heck am I going to store this troublesome information?”

Now your subconscious is like a man who loves to talk to himself using metaphors.  Your dreams are very metaphorical, and this is nothing to be threatened by.  Dreams are just your subconscious talking to itself and venting its stresses in symbolic ways.  For example, Dr. Dan is currently quite troubled by not being able to figure out what’s making his patient so ill.  When Dan goes to sleep, he dreams that he’s an archeologist who is trying to decipher an ancient stone that’s chiseled with hieroglyphics.  This is simply Dan’s creative mind finding a symbolic way of talking about Dan’s real life stress with trying to unravel the mystery of his patient’s illness.

And then there’s Stephanie.  After sharing some very intimate details about herself with her pastor during a counseling session, Stephanie dreams that she’s having sex with her pastor.  Is this cause for alarm?  Not at all.  Sex is a very common symbol of intimacy for humans.  Stephanie’s mind is simply using a physical metaphor for how exposed she felt when she shared such personal information with her pastor.  Stephanie isn’t lusting after her pastor, nor is some demon having sex with her in the night.  Stephanie simply found the counseling experience to be very emotionally moving, and her mind was mulling that over as she slept.

There’s nothing strange about sex showing up in your dreams.  Sex is a major theme in this world.  Even if you’re not personally having sex in your own life, the subject of sex is constantly being thrust in your face through advertisement, books, movies, and other people’s conversations.  Why wouldn’t your mind use such a common, emotionally charged subject as material for one of its symbolic dreams?  The truth is that sex can be a great metaphor of non-sexual things.  Let’s use Dave as an example here.  Dave has battled with low self-esteem his whole life.  He’s always felt like an ugly, awkward loser.  But lately all that has been changing.  Dave has recently become a Christian, and God is really working with Dave to improve the way Dave views himself.  As Dave understands more about how much God loves him, Dave’s self-image majorly improves.  One night, Dave dreams that he’s having sex with a super hot real life movie star.  When Dave wakes up and discovers he’s had an orgasm and that his pulse is racing with excitement, what should he conclude?  Should he berate himself for being a lusty pervert?  Should he fear that he’s been assaulted by a spirit wife?  No, Dave should take a minute to think about what his sexual encounter might symbolize.  It turns out that Dave’s mind was just using sex as a metaphor for the new confidence Dave is gaining thanks to God helping him understand how much God loves him.  Dave’s mind depicted Dave making out with the sexy movie star as a way of illustrating Dave’s new sense of self-worth.  The old Dave would never view himself as being “worthy” of such a babe.  The new Dave is now rejecting the idea that he’s one down to other people.  Since Dave’s culture measures a man’s worth by how hot of a woman that man can get into bed with him, it’s not surprising that Dave’s mind uses this idea to metaphorically illustrate Dave’s new sense of self-worth. It doesn’t mean Dave agrees with his culture’s shallow view of things.  It doesn’t mean Dave would sleep with the actress in real life.  It doesn’t mean he approves of fornication.  The dream is symbolic, and there’s no reason to freak out about its contents.  There’s also no reason for Dave to feel bad because his body physically responded to the dream’s arousing imagery.  Dave’s soul could not control what kind of dream his mind invented, nor could it control his body’s reaction to it.  So Dave has done nothing wrong, he’s not a pervert, he’s not possessed, and he’s not being pursued by a spirit spouse.

The whole notion of a spirit spouse is hooey from start to finish.  It’s just a deception that shady shepherds have come up with by capitalizing on the fact that people often feel confused and upset by their dream imagery.  Instead of helping you understand yourself better by explaining to you basic principles of how the mind works, shady shepherds make you feel more distressed by telling you that sexual dreams are a clear indication that you’re being targeted by some evil spirit who seems to crave sex with you.  But why on earth would demons want to have sex with you when they’re not sexual beings? They don’t.  This is just more lies.

Now because deliverance ministers are such lowlifes, there is no end to how vicious they’ll get in using your pain for their gain.  When it comes to heartbreaking topics, infertility is high on the list.  Couples who dearly want children yet are unable to conceive are already going through extreme emotional stress.  When they then traumatize themselves further by trying the horrific fertilization processes modern science has cooked up, only to have those methods fail, their devastation is even worse.  Now in real life, stress and infertility go hand in hand.  Your reproductive system just isn’t going to function well when you’re dragging through life under a brick load of psychological stress, and feeling heartbroken over not having kids is major stress.  When you then subject yourself to getting tortured by doctors who want to do horrible things to your body, it’s no wonder that things don’t work out.  But rather than give you constructive advice and help you find ways to destress, deliverance ministers only traumatize you further by telling you that the reason fertility treatments won’t work for you is because your spirit spouse doesn’t want them to.  You see, that demon that keeps jumping your bones at night is apparently putting some kind of hex on you that makes you unable to conceive with your human spouse.  In deliverance circles, it’s all about demonizing the problem.

So is it really true that demons can stop you from getting  pregnant?  No, it’s not.  God is the Ruler over life and death, and children are conceived according to His schedule, not the schedule of demons.  If God wants you to have a baby, no demon can stop you from conceiving.  If God doesn’t want you to have a baby right now, no amount of medical poking and prodding will make that happen.

If you want to spiritually benefit from the trials you go through in life, you need to recognize that God is the One creating those trials in the first place.  Then you need to understand that God is for you—and that means He is out to help you, not harm you.  Fertility problems are not a sign that God hates you, and they don’t have bumpkus to do with demons trapping you in some kind of bondage.  Like every trial, fertility problems can actually end up drawing you closer to God by helping you develop the soul attitudes He wants you to have—things like reverence, submission, dependency and trust.

Now a third excuse deliverance ministers use to get you to think you have a spirit spouse is ridiculously vague.  Are you having trouble in your dating life?  Do your relationships keep failing?  Do you keep getting dumped?  How about your marriage—are things less than perfect?  Is there friction between you and your spouse?  Since perfect relationships do not exist in this world, it’s guaranteed that you’re going to clash with other humans.  Since it’s impossible to build strong relationships without experiencing some measure of pain and heartache, it’s guaranteed that all of your significant relationships will go through stormy periods.  But so what?  This is normal for humans—it doesn’t mean you’re being stalked by some lusty demon.  Ah, but deliverance ministers are all about blowing your problems out of proportion and turning your stress into panic.  If it’s true that you really do have some significant problems with relating to other people, then deliverance ministers certainly aren’t going to help you mature past your dysfunctions.  Instead, they’re going to give you new reasons to stress: those pesky demons who keep sexually assaulting you when you’re lying defenseless in bed.  According to deliverance ministers, it’s your possessive spirit wife or husband who is sabotaging every human relationship you try to have.  And once you buy this ludicrous theory, you’re never going to get around to dealing with the real cause of your relationship problems.  Instead, you’re going to start quoting irrelevant Bible verses, rebuking the air, and confessing random sins.  You’ll do anything the deliverance minister tells you to do, and you’ll actually thank the jerk for laying his hands on you and praying prayers which are carefully worded to increase your fears about what a dire spiritual crisis you are in.  It’s all such a malicious scam, this deliverance business.  It doesn’t really help you, it only distracts you from doing anything useful while it fills your head with lies.

So then, let’s summarize.  The scam of spirit spouses is about demonizing three very common human experiences: sexual dreams, fertility struggles, and relationship strife.  By linking their unnerving spiritual diagnoses to extremely common issues, deliverance ministers ensure that they never run out of potential customers.  By the time they’re done revising your theology, you’ll fear demons far more than you do God, you’ll be making a career out of telling God what to do, and you’ll be a real pompous, pain in the neck for other humans to deal with.  Because you see, while you’re busy blaming demons for all of your problems and honing your skills as a potent little sorcerer, you’re refusing to learn any of the lessons that God wants to teach you. God wants to you to mature.  Deliverance ministers and demons want you to stagnate and regress.  God wants you to focus on Him in life.  Deliverance ministers want you to obsess over evil spirits and your own spell casting abilities.  Stay away from deliverance ministers.  Demons really aren’t having sex with you.  But if thinking they are will keep you from listening to God, then they are happy to keep promoting the deception.

FURTHER READING:
Deliverance Ministries: Scamming You in the Name of Jesus
Dealing with Trauma: Protecting Yourself from Bad Counselors
Shady Shepherd Tactics: Gaining Rank
Recognizing Your Spiritual Dependency On Humans
Are demons stronger in the dark?
Understanding Your Perverse Fantasies: A Sign of Stress, Not Defectiveness
Understanding Verbal Blessing & Cursing: So Much Hype, So Little Power
Dreams: An Overview
Interpreting Spiritual Dreams
How Your Powerful Prayers Are Wrecking Your Relationship with God
The Laying On of Hands
Spiritual Bondage: Exposing the Scam
Debunking Soul Ties & Soul Fragmentation
Generational Curses
Genesis 6 in Context: Demystifying the Nephilim

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